000"Wow, she’s quite something! Look over there, quick!”
000“It’s a guy.”
000“No. No way.”
000“Yep.”
000“She’s beautiful. That’s not a guy.”
000“Believe me,” I tell them, “it’s a guy.”
000“I’m talkin’ about the one in black.”
000“So am I. It’s a guy.”
000“Not the fat one,” specifies the front
seat passenger. “The skinnyone.”
000“Yeah,” I nod, “the good-looking one. It’s a guy.”
000“How can you tell?”
000“Well, I can’t necessarily, except, on this street, any woman dressedlike that is a guy.”
000It’s Cat Woman. I first saw him/her a few weeks back, thought it was a one-time deal but, apparently, he’s attempting to develop a specialized clientele. She’s fully attired in a black leather miniskirt, black nylons, knee-high black leather boots and a low-cut bra showing plenty of cleavage. It’s staggering. I don’t know if it’s makeup, transplants, hormones or what. She’s swinging a whip and slithering up and down a silver lamppost, alternately wrapping one leg and then another around the pole—all this at the busy intersection of Bush and Larkin Streets. My two very heterosexual, blond, blue-eyed passengers salivate mentally from the front and back seats.
000“Look at THOSE two,” says the guy sitting next to me. “Now, they are women.”
000“No, they are men.” I flip on my turn signal.
000He’s pointing at two transvestites walking along on the sidewalk. One brunette, and one with streaked blond hair, both dressed in tight stylish clothing, high heels and every hair on their heads neatly in place. I don’t know if these guys wear wigs or just grow it long. Their hair looks great—shiny, full and healthy, right out of a shampoo commercial on TV.
000“No way,” argues the disbeliever, seated in the back. “Dude. I’m in love. Yes!”
000“They’re guys,” I repeat.
000“Let’s just get out,” excitedly advocates Back Seat Dude. His friend seated in the front has become a little less sure.
000“Now that one over there,” I say pointing, “walking in front of the two good-looking ones? She’s a woman.”
000“No, no,” says Back Seat Dude. “They’re all women over there.”
000“The two good-looking ones are guys.”
000“No way,” insists Back Seat Dude. “Let us out, here.”

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